Blow the whistle loud for the Rev. William Howard, chair of the Rutgers Board of Governors. Some nefarious evil-doer out there in the Internet is circulating two emails that purport to be the writings of the Rev. Howard but, surely, they are too dull-witted to have been penned by so important a personage in the Rutgers hierarchy. Tell us you didn’t write them, Billy!
The first of the two blatantly wrong-headed emails is dated August 27th and it purports to be an attempt at an op-ed by the Rev. Howard. We’ll include bits of it here because it’s doubtful any newspaper will run something this, well, boring and self-serving. The author — we know it is not the Rev. Howard, so we will use the neutral “author” — claims:
* It was…disturbing to read board member George Zoffinger’s recent op-ed, which impugned his peers and all but accused them of being careless and fiscally irresponsible
We hope Zoffinger in fact accused them (no “all but” about it) because they are careless and irresponsible.
This soon is followed by a whole bunch of 5th grade mud-slinging at George Zoffinger…and then the author moves in for a summary:
* My colleagues on the board agree that the university’s academic quality and reputation have improved during the same period that we have succeeded in athletics. We agree that the university’s athletic program has brought credit not only to Rutgers but also to our entire state.
Uh…excuse us…it’s wonderful that you all agree that academic quality has improved but it hasn’t. It is shocking — and indeed does it not prove Zoffinger’s point that you are dimwitted toadies? — to claim that academics are up when by any objective measure Rutgers continues to slip in the rankings. Now tied with Texas A & M, Rutgers is well on its way to being the next Louisville. And that is not bringing “credit” to the state. Were you operating in the private sector, the foreclosure papers would be stamped on your foreheads and the sale on the courthouse steps would be in progress.
* The people of New Jersey should know that their state university’s governing board members are talented men and women who recognize the stake that the people of our state have in Rutgers‘ well-being, and they strive to honor the public trust in every decision they make.
Really? Could have fooled us. Truth is, we still think you are jocksniffing cretins and, as for talent, it’s well hidden on the BoG.
Impersonation instance #2 is a document — also dated 8/27 — that purports to be an email from “Bill” Howard (doesn’t the intimacy make you go fuzzy?) to George Zoffinger, where “Bill” seems to want Zoffinger to resign from the BoG because Zoffinger has hurt Bill’s feelings by suggesting that Bill and his cronies on the board are incompetent wretches. [You go, Zoffinger! Pardon our interruption.]
But the statement that jumps out in this email is the following:
* At our September 10th Special Board meeting, we expect the president will provide the Board with detailed information on all the issues that have been precipitated by the success of our football program. And later in the fall, the president’s special review committee on these matters is expected to issue its report. I presume a program of corrective action, if needed, will be aggressively pursued following these events.
The “success” of the football program? A Big East bottom feeder? But, wait, “Bill” expects that Slick McCormick will actually present a plan that makes sense regarding paying for the expansion and “Bill” further expects the president’s special review committee will issue a report that fixes all ills. We know no human being could be as dumb as this “Bill” pretends to be because every sentient being inside New Jersey knows all McCormick and Mulcahy are trying to do is cover up, cover up, cover up. There are no plans, reports are whitewashes at best, and all this is obvious as the Trentonization of Rutgers steams forward.
That’s why we have this impersonator cornered. The chair of the Rutgers board of governors could not be this dimwitted and this much of a lackey, could he?